What a Wonderful World

I am channeling Louis Armstrong right now but I will get to that in a moment. I had another rough start getting out the door. I was on duty last night, so I got to bed a little later than usual. Getting up was a little hard, but each morning DQ says "you go girl!" as I roll out of bed. I have had car problems this week which I thought were corrected last night. NOT!! So I had to run back in the dorm, grab DQs keys and try again. I was five minutes later than usual.

I worked on my legs and abs today before cardio. I stayed out in the main part of the gym and used those machines. I hate that they face all the people on the treadmills. I always feel like the people working out are judging me. I am sure they are not, but I just feel that way. I felt good about working on my legs. It hurt - leg lifts and curls. I have zero strength in that area. Which is funny to me because my legs are a pretty big part of my body.

I jumped on the elliptical, and "What A Wonderful World" came on my ipod. Much like "Freedom" I don't know all the words, but it got me thinking about what a wonderful world I live in. How lucky am I to be able to work out. God blessed me with two legs that work, and a job that pays me well enough to belong to a gym. While I was feeling some good ju-ju (or whatever that word is!) I didn't work as hard on the elliptical as I have been doing. Yesterday I upped the intensity a level, as I will try to do each week. I normally average 300 calories burned, but today I barely reached 260. I still went for over two miles though.

I did some more ab work in the "womens room" before I headed out the door.

I am hopeful that my car will be fixed for good tonight!

til tomorrow -
Mummy Q.

ps...I took the boys to Dunkin Donuts this morning and managed to walk out with only a hot tea. It was SO hard! I came to work and had fruit and yogurt.

Trying to bounce back

I need a little reality check. I didn't put all this weight on in one week; I certainly can't expect to lose it in one week. That said, I was still pretty down about my weight loss, or lack there of, yesterday afternoon. I thought I was going to get another workout in during sports, but all that amounted to was some curl ups. Dinner was at PF Changs. I know it was just rated in the Top Five healthiest restaurants by Health magazine, but I don't think they were referring to the LoMein. I didn't eat too much of it, as I had already enjoyed the Thai Chicken Lettuce wraps. I shared Scout and Holden's fried rice as well.

I got to bed pretty early last night, and think I got a decent night sleep. It was hard getting out to the gym, but I did it. I pouted through my entire strength training part. I decided to do arms and try the abs machines I found. I did the obliques, as well as the machine that works your back muscles. Then I tried a crunch machine, and I flopped. I could only do five. I don't know if I am too weak, or had too much weight on the machine, or wasn't doing it properly.

Then I hit the elliptical. Forget the bike. I find it too easy to quit on the bike. As I was on the elliptical, I worked my buns off. I was sweating down my arms. It felt great. I did the "weight loss" work-out, but didn't do anymore once I was done. I was going to jump on the bike for a cool down, but opted to go home instead.

Once home, I tried to cheer up. I tried to be rational, and realize that this is a process, not a quick fix. Even when I pulled on my pants, that are still, well, snug, I tried not to get too upset. Snug is too strong of a word. But I certainly didn't pull them on and go "ahh....these feel better!"

I packed my lunch for today. I will probably still go to the dining hall to get a salad, but I brought my own dressing.

til tomorrow -
Mummy Q.

Monday Monday

I woke up with great trepidation. I really, really wanted to weigh in. I even put a note on the bathroom mirror that said "Weigh in - it'll be OK!" So, I did. I hopped on the scales, hoping for big return. NOT! I lost two pounds. Two lousy pounds. I was so upset. Still am. I know, I know...I have only been at this for a week now - seven days. BUT - I am eating well, and am working out like I have never worked before. The very first time I ever went on Weight Watchers I was a junior in high school. I think I started in the fall. At my second weigh in, after I had been on WW for a week, I lost seven pounds. Seven! While I knew I wouldn't have lost seven pounds, I was really hoping for five. But all I got was two.

I went to the gym, but had a crappy work out. I am mad that the trainer from the gym hasn't called me. I paid for three sessions and thought someone would call me by now. I am trying to figure out the best, most effecient work out. Since I didn't lose much weight, perhaps I am doing something wrong. Maybe I need to vary things a little. Along those lines, I started out on the recombinent bike (sp??) first today and HATED it. I did it for twenty minutes and then got on the elliptical machine for 15 minutes. I couldn't wait to get home.

I have eaten fairly well so far. I think I will also get one more workout in. I teach PE and I had a yogi come in to teach my classes today. I did one class with them but it was geared towards children. Good stretches. This afternoon my team is having indoor practice (I coach softball) and the first half of indoor practice is strength and conditioning. I am going to do it with the girls today. Probably have chicken for dinner or PF Changs.

Better days ahead, right??!!
til tomorrow -
Mummy Q.

I didn't go...UGH!

Sunday morning - 6:03 AM - my husband wakes me up to tell me that we overslept, only to then realize on his own that it was Sunday, and we could sleep a little more.

I did lots of housework in the AM, then went to the dining hall for breakfast (did I mention we live and work at a boarding school?) It was my intention to go to the gym following breakfast. I was tired, but still wanted to go. Darling hubby talks me into not going. He makes a valid point - I have been five days in a row, and my body needs a rest. I am petrified not to go. You see, I feel like I don't have much willpower. I guess I have a lot of motivation, many reasons to get fit, but actually doing it is another issue. For example - for about two years now, I will start a "diet" on Monday, and by Wednesday I am done. I start out having a great breakfast, morning snack and lunch, and then once 4:30 PM hits, I am outta control!!! Also - I have a work-out room here at school. I have started a "workout routine" more times than I can count. Maybe I will do it three or four times, and then I am done.

So the fact that I have gone five days in a row, and am EAGER to go is exciting. This morning I felt that if I skipped today, I would find it easier to skip other days. Next weekend I can't go as much since I am on duty, and DQ is going out of town. So I am really nervous about making it through that.

That said, I did get some motivators for the upcoming week. I got a new water bottle. It is smaller, easier to use at the gym (picture using an elliptical machine while trying to get water out of the wide mouth of a Nalgene bottle. Water was all down my front!), has a straw, and is BPA free. I also got some new Luna Bars. I used to eat them all the time. There are so many new flavors now. The last thing I got were new headphones. Do you know how hard it is to find headphones that AREN'T ear buds? I ended up getting ear buds, only because I couldn't really find any others. If I am deaf by the time I am 50, I am blaming the ear buds!

I have eaten fairly well today. Trying to be very observant of the fact that I am not working out. Breakfast was half a belgium waffle with butter and syrup, some applesauce and the whote of a hard boiled egg. Lunch was half a PB&J sandwich. Afternoon snack was a Luna bar. We are going to the dining hall for dinner and I will enjoy a piece of Oreo cookie pie. Maybe I will share it with someone?

Another issue I am having is whether or not I want to weigh in tomorrow. I am really trying to focus more on my body and less than the scales. What I mean by that is I want to feel a change when I pull on clothes. The scale is a double edge sword for me. If I weigh in and have lost weight, in the past that has been an excuse for me to take a day off. The flip side is that if I haven't lost weight, I get down on myself very quickly, and cave - I give up. I don't want that to happen. I think I will weigh myself, but only with the expectation that I have lost three pounds. Anything else is bonus. Anything less and I will need counseling.

til tomorrow -
Mummy Q.

Day Five - Saturday

"Saturday, Saturday!" cue Elton John. This Saturday is worth singing about! Maybe I could label each day with a song title, like they do for each episode of Grey's Anatomy.

I tried to sleep in this morning, but was up by 6:30 AM. Sad to say my gym does not open until 8:00 AM. After trying to figure out the plans for the day, I ended up at the gym shortly after it opened. I went in knowing I was only going to do cardio this visit, but had planned on doing 45 minutes of it - 28 minutes on the elliptical, and the rest on a treadmill or bike. When I had less that a minute left on the elliptical, I moved my arm and sent my ipod, itouch, whatever, flying away from me. It was comical, but scary. I finished up and then looked for it. It took forever to find it and when I finally did I was a wreck thinking I had lost it. So I just went home.

My pat on the back for the day is for eating so well. I went to a bridal shower and ate very well. It was a sit down affair so there were no apps to graze on. I chose the salmon over the chicken and by the looks of things I made the better choice. I did have a piece of cake, but I chose a small piece, and I left some on the plate.

til tomorrow -
Mummy Q.

Day four - Freedom!

No, I haven't found freedom after just four days, but I have made it my theme song! "Freedom" but George Michael. I thought he was so hot when I was growing up. Today, when I was in the last seven minutes of my cardio workout this song came on (I have it on a playlist). I started thinking to myself that one of my goals is to have freedom from this fat - freedom from feeling "less than" because I am overweight, freedom from not being able to purchase any clothes. So Freedom is now my theme song. Now if only I knew what the words were!

This morning was the first morning all week when I woke up and didn't want to get out of bed. I couldn't fall asleep to save my life. My mind was just running with all the possibilities of what could/would happen if I DID lose weight! I accidentally turn the alarm off, instead of hitting the snooze button. For a minute or two I debated going, but I rolled out of bed and went. I felt like a Zombie, but when the workout was all over I was glad I went.

Today I used the Ladies Room at the gym. Inspired by Curves, the ladies room has several pieces of strength training equipment, but in a room away from everyone else. At 4:50 in the morning, I had the whole place to myself. The room doesn't have a tricep machine, or my FAVORITE (seriously!) glute machine, so I had to go out for that, as well as the cardio.

It is Friday and I would say I have eaten fairly well this week. I have worked hard on leaving stuff on my plate at each meal. I am trying to eat more protein filled snacks as opposed to carbs, and of course drinking lots and lots of water. Tonight I ran to McD's and just got a happy meal. I shared everything my friend. Then Scout an Holden had a birthday party to go to. It was a bonfire complete with Smores! At first I ravenous around the chocolate, but I stepped away from the chocolate, and headed to the fruit and veggies. All in all pretty good.

Til tomorrow -
Mummy Q.

day three

so - last night I was exhausted. My husband wanted me to skip working out today. Not that he isn't supportive, but he feels that sleep is just as important as working out. I am scared to miss a day - I am on a roll! I haven't been this motivated in three years at least. So I made a compromise with him, and myself. I had to take today off from school (I work at a private school, my kids go to public school, and it is their spring break. Today was my day to stay home with them), so I figured that I would sleep in and go to the gym later in the morning.

The good news is that I made it! Bad news is that it was a nightmare getting there. My boys did not want to go to the child care room at all. It was very small, and filled with little children. Of course my six and seven year old are way too cool to hang out with two year olds, so they were very pouty when I left them!

It was a good workout. I will go again tomorrow morning, before school, and then probably take the weekend off. I have a goal of going to the gym 25 days a month (I pay $25/month, and I want each day to work out to one dollar.) But since I only joined on the 21, I am going to try to go seven times.

I have to give myself props for something today. I took the boys, I'll call them Holden and Scout, to the movies. To my credit, I let them get popcorn, but I just got Skittles and a diet coke. I did have some handfuls of Holden's popcorn, but it didn't have butter on it. The best part is, I felt satisfied. I didn't feel that nasty, bloated feeling afterward! Yea me!

Til tomorrow -
Mummy Q.

ps...did you know that an apple is more effective about waking you up in the morning than coffee?!!

day two

the alarm went off at 4:30 AM, and I SO wanted to roll over and go back to sleep. I had put to bed duty last night, and am dead tired today. But, off I went. Luckily the woman that opens the gym is there before 5:00 AM, so I can sneak in there and get started right away!

As I was doing some bicep curls (30 lbs - nothing too exciting!) I started thinking about goals. My immediate thought was "I want to lose 50 lbs by Christmas." If I did that, I would be at my wedding weight, ten years ago this spring. The more I thought about it, though, I realized that big, long term goals never work for me. I need small, bite size, baby step goals. So, my first goal goes something like this: on June 18th I leave for a cruise to celebrate my tenth wedding anniversary. I have been buying skirts (by my favorite label, Vineyard Vines!!) for over a year, on e-Bay. They only go to size 16, and that is what I have been getting. I now have three skirts and one dress. My goal is to be able to wear those clothes on the cruise. Currently I am a size 18 women. I hate just writing that down. But there it is, for the world to see. I am a size 18 W. For some brands I think I should even be a 20W, but I refuse to buy that size. I am now wearing size XXL shirts, which SUCKS!!! Why did I let myself get this way? But did, and I am trying to make that change (cue Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror")

My second goal is to fit into a pair of size 16 J Crew capri's by late August. Did I mention yet I am a teacher? I am a teacher, and we come back to school in late August. I would like to debut these pants, which have been in my closet for three years, maybe four, at our first faculty meeting. I long to be able to wear something from JCrew. You see, I discovered crewcuts, JCrew's kids line, for my boys, and I love to get their clothes there. I am always hitting the sales racks, finding great stuff for the boys, but never for me. The only thing I can fit into from JCrew are flip flops and socks!! And even the knee igh socks are a stretch for me (no pun intended). I would love to walk out of JCrew with something for the boys AND me!!

I am also trying to make daily goals - work out once daily, and eat well. The eating part is always challenging. I do so well all day, and then I get home and the hungry horrors hit! Today should be OK because I won't get home before dinner time, so there won't be much snacking. Also the late evening is challenging. My husband and I, in the past, would sit on the couch and munch on Cadbury mini-eggs. Last night, as I was waiting for study hall to finish, and my duty to begin, all I wanted were mini-eggs! Curse them! But I love them!

til tomorrow -
Mummy Q.

day one...again...

As my alarm went off at 4:35 AM, I wondered to myself, as I often do, "How did I get to this point?" How did I let myself go so much, gain so much weight, that I am now the largest I have ever been without being pregnant, and wear a size that has to have a "W" after the number?? (For all the men out there, or skinny people, "W" is for women...more generous cut than 'normal' sizes.)

But, here I am, again (are you noticing a pattern??!!) But I am hoping that today will be the start of something new, again. I have had too many "day ones" to count. This day one, however, has to be it. I am 36 years old, probably 70 lbs over weight, if not more, and just need to make the changes now before I die.

So I did go the gym this morning. Got there a little before 5 AM. Did some weights and 28 minutes on a Pre-Cor machine. Have eaten pretty well, and overall am feeling good. A little tired, but good. I work at a boarding school, and have dorm duty tonight, so I will be sucking wind, but it's OK. Hopefully I will sleep well.

til next time -
Mummy Q.